Dear member of the Soot family, I want to invite you
- to my hotel on Blood Mountain in the first Advent weekend of the year. "
"For family fun--
- and distribution of my modest inheritance. "
"Hotel Blood Mountain has, like me, seen better days. "
But as long as we have each other, I'm sure this--
- will be our best Christmas celebration ever. "
"Best regards Konrad Soot."
That's impressive, Nanna. You have resolved all cases in record time this year.
You are our best Christmas Package Tracker Ever.
You can celebrate Christmas holidays with a clear conscience. Have you made plans?
Yes. I'm staying here.
Sorting pens, binders and rubber bands by type and size.
It is Christmas. You have to do something fun.
- Yes, by color too. - No, something nice with the family.
-Why? - That's what you do at Christmas.
Here is an invitation from your Uncle Konrad in Norway.
Don't you want to get to know your extended family better?
- The packages are my family. -Nanna ...
You have to get a life outside of these packages.
You are going to Blood Mountain, and you should enjoy yourself. That is an order!
Hi! I need the report about the Bygdøy killings, now!
Tønder and Mörk, the Bygdøy killings ...
- I'll have him soon. I can feel it. -Is it true?
You feel it? Do you know what I feel?
That those who work down in archives are not a part of the investigation.
- What do you feel, Mörk? - The same as you, Tønder.
- I know, but I have a theory ... - Svein Soot ...
You are cute. But leave the theories to the pros.
You don't become a detective just because there's alliteration in your name.
What the hell do you mean? Listen, I have a ...
-Stop. Stop! -Relax!
"Christmas weekend with Uncle Konrad." No, that was cute.
Blood Mountain? We have a case for you:
Find out if Santa exists.
-Can you do that? -Blood Mountain!
- Look at this place! - Yes, this looks ...
"Admiral Jack," Rune Soot at your service.
Rune?
I'm joking. Nice to see you, Jack!
- Sister Liv! - Hi, Rune.
Before I forget it, your last book ... Fantastic!
What's it called? "The key to a happy relationship"?
Or "battleship"?
- Rune, great to see you. - I'm joking.
I didn't think you guys were coming. It's not that you need the inheritance.
No, money is not everything. We are here for the family.
-Yes. - Show up for the family.
Yes ... Are there more here?
It's full family fun here. We are a full house, 24 people.
-Come in! -Say what now..?
24 people? God, what a pleasant weekend this will be.
Sunglasses with built-in MP3 player. That's not bad!
If you are tanning and need to listen to some cool MP3s?
Only 299 kroner at Toffens Techno Store.
- Well that's affordable, isn't it? - You betcha!
It's made by little Chinese kids, they only charge marbles as payment.
I was electrocuted. I'll take that right out of the payroll to those little rice cookers.
Very nice to finally get to meet Gabriel's family!
- Hi, Svein. -Hi.
It is very nice with visits from Denmark, Nanna. Are you enjoying yourself?
I don't know. How do you know?
You'd know, Nanna ... If you enjoyed yourself.
Is the mulled wine tasty, Nanna?
No.
No...
Look, that was a nice little yellow rose.
Is she new? I have a little Asia-thing, you see.
That's my adoptive daughter.
Oh really? So you have an Asia-thing yourself?
I thought people like you was more concerned with little altar boys.
-What do you do? - I work in a cafe.
And then I sing a little, but just for fun.
People say they are moved by my voice, but I get so embarrassed.
- So don't ask me to sing up here. - But you are really good, sing a little.
That's mean, you know I can't say no.
- A small stanza? -No I don't want to...
The Swede got water skiing for Christmas, since then he has been looking feverishly-
- for downhill water.
It's funny because he thought he had to use the skiis in downhill water.
But that doesn't exist.
Svein! Little – Svein, long time no see.
-Yes. - What became of you?
- I work with the police quite a bit. -Okay? Which department?
- Have you heard of the Bygdøy killings? - Oh, the killings?
- Greedy bunch! –24 people.
Every Soot in the Country has come for that inheritance!
That's only a few hundred dollars each.
We should become sole heirs. Everything we did for that old mold.
-I've called him every other weekend! -Blood suckers.
This is below our dignity. We are Liv and Jack Soot!
But do you know what? The rose-painted wooden chest.
Now you go up to Konrad before the others, and make him promise it to us.
It's worth ten's of thousands.
- It's your uncle. - You can go! Listen here, kitty:
When I invest all our money in a self-heating butter knife, -
- I'll be the one to clean up after myself. - I thought it would be a hit.
Everyone wants soft butter!
Jack. Jacky Jack.
-Cris? -Jack.
- It must be ages ago. - Yeah.
You still look like a handsome devil.
I look awful. I've come straight from the plane from LA.
Vanilla Ice's parties never end.
Is that where we're at? Handshake?
- Is that what we've become? - That's what us ordinary people do.
Excuse me, I'm going up to Konrad.
Konrad does not accept visitors. He is sleeping. Sorry.
Dammit.
I can't say much about the Bygdøy- killings, but we are working around the clock.
- It's a nasty case. -Yes.
Between us...
- It's the brother. -The brother?
I see it in him. I see it straight away.
Or it's the uncle. Or the cousin.
- It's at least one in the family ... -Hello! Little Svein, right?
I've missed you.
Are you still working in archives at the police headquarters?
There is a lot of archiving involved in the job.
Oh really? Has he said he's a detective?
- Because of pictures I see a lot ... - You're trying a white lie, you fox?
- You lie so much you believe it yourself? -I don't do that.
I like that a little, Svein!
Detective? No, he has worked his way up to the archives.
How does one enjoy themselves?
Did you light a proper fire?
I didn't bring Timian up here to get pneumonia.
Do you have humidifiers in the rooms? Timian gets dry air eczema.
- He's a sensitive boy. - The hotel is safe for children.
-Children? Timian is 25. - And a half.
- Mother, can I have a nut? -Yes. Just one at a time!
Chew well. And stand still.
And swallow.
Hi, nice to see you again. It was nice.
We have not met before.
Soot. Svein Soot.
Nanna Soot.
Have you heard of the Swede that wanted to go downhill on water skiis?
He got them for Christmas.
Who got what?
It's a joke. Now we are enjoying ourselves.
You wanna embarrass me?
No.
I know where you're going with it. "Downhill. It's a joke."
Svein's life is going downhill. Svein is a joke.
Funny! You have good humor!
Thanks.
I'm laughing to death.
Dinner will soon be served.
But first, Konrad will welcome you to Blood Mountain.
Would you look at that.
I've finally managed to gather the whole family for some Christmas fun.
I know you are all terribly busy at Christmas time.
But it is so lousy to be up here at Christmas all alone.
Especially since this will be my last Christmas.
My doctors have given me a few months to live.
- Oh dear! - No, no, no, no, no ...
It is the course of life.
So when I brought up the opportunity to get some inheritance, -
- you were not difficult to ask.
My lawyer Kranz will tell you more about this later.
Let's eat.
"The opportunity to inherit ..." What does he mean by that?
He only owns this shack. How much do you get for this on Finn? A million?
And it's to be divided between the whole Dissimilis gang?
Dear family, I will not torture you any longer.
I'm so excited about what you think that I can't bear to attend to it myself.
So I'll take my 30 minutes on the toilet.
Lawyer Kranz will inform you in the meantime.
Since my client does not have direct life heirs, -
- He wants to bequeath all his wealth to his family -
- with spouses, as well as his housekeeper Miss Guro Rogne.
On one condition:
That you stay here at Hotel Blood Mountain right up to Christmas Eve -
- and give Konrad Soot the Christmas celebration he has always wished for.
So he wants us to stay here together for 24 days?
Yes, that is correct.
I mean, that ...
Oh my god, how cozy! Very cozy.
Relax.
Yes, very cozy. Do we have to be here, or can we come and go?
- Someone has an important job. -No.
Only those who stay here right up to Christmas Eve, get the inheritance.
Right, right, right, right.
24 days with this gang? I don't think so. It's been great!
Do I understand correctly that you all say no?
That's right!
I do note that your answer tonight is legally binding.
Very well. Then the whole inheritance goes to the Konrad Soots fund -
- for relocated kitty cats, and I shred this will and testament.
Thank you for your attention.
24 days up here to share a couple of hundred bucks. Not going to happen.
You said no? It is not a matter of a hundred dollars.
Konrad has all his wealth abroad. We just said no to a common heritage -
- of at least NOK 500 million.
Oh, fuck.
- Kranz, come on! Open up! - Of course we are going to celebrate Christmas with Konrad!
- Rogne, unlock the door! - The universal key is not here!
Unlock the door! So that the lawyer doesn't ruin everything!
-Kranz! Open up! - Here's the spare key.
Now we can unlock it!
That's ... That's unfortunate.
- Did he manage to destroy the will? -No.
Everyone who stays until Christmas Eve inherits.
- No one tell Konrad about this. -Hey, hey, hey!
There has been a killing. This is a crime scene. We need to investigate.
Shut up! If Konrad finds out that a murder ...
What's going on out here?
Oh, hey, hey! Wow, is it Konrad? Wouldn't you know.
We're just talking about how nice it will be to celebrate Christmas with you.
- Oh, how nice! -Right? It'll be cozy!
But where is Kranz, by the way?
-Kranz? -Yes.
- Oh him, yes! He had to do something. -Oh really?
Yes, there was someone who called Kranz.
He was going to sell him something. A ...
-Stick insect. -St ...
He collects stick insects, you know. That Kranz.
Typical Kranz. Always a new and weird hobby.
-Yes. Typical Kranz! -Yes...
But we can probably celebrate Christmas without Kranz.
Without Kranz? That's almost better.
I have planned so many festive things we will do together.
- Do together? What do you mean? - It is in the will.
We are going to decorate the whole hotel. Lutefisk.
Play games. Chop a Christmas tree. Bake all seven varieties of cookies.
All seven? There won't be much free time then, I guess.